Special Editor's Note
The policy of Travel Fox is to refrain from publishing media releases. However,
the establishment of the Travel Rage Institute is of such potential benefit to
our readers that an exception has been made in reporting the following.
From the desk of
Terry Riley
Publisher,
ErrTravel.com
January 4, 2007
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Travel Rage Institute is founded
Calm down, mellow out, feel better
 When
I first heard of "hotel rage," my thought was that another heavy metal
band had trashed its hotel suite. But that wasn’t the case. Instead it was some
businessman who went ballistic when he found out that his confirmed reservation
would not be honored due to "overbooking." (After my recent
experience at the Crowne Plaza, I found it easy to empathize with the guy.)
My second thought was. "Rats, I'm about to miss the boat—again." (My personal
history bears out my worry. I've always been the last to catch the wave of every
craze that comes along. I was the last to buy bell-bottoms. I missed the
leisure suit fashion trend altogether. I’ve yet to adopt a total quality
management style. I don't own an iPod. And I don't have a listing on MySpace.)
Well, I’m not going to miss this fad. Today I’m announcing the founding of The
International…no, make that The Intergalactic Travel Rage
Institute. The mission of the Institute will be to treat travelers who
suffer from Travel Rage Disorder or TRD. I have even petitioned the American
Psychiatric Association to add TRD to the DSM-IV—the shrinks’ "official" manual
of mental disorders.
Air Rage
Initially, the Institute will treat TRD that expresses itself as air rage,
or TRD-AR. This condition has persisted ever since Gerard Finneran, a
Connecticut businessman, became the poster boy for disruptive passenger behavior
when he got himself all liquored-up on a flight from Buenos Aires to New York.
He got so belligerent about not getting another glass of wine that he dropped
his pants and…. Well, let’s just say that Mr. Finneran's behavior was
quite unbecoming.
Ever since Mr. Finneran's episode a decade ago cases of travel rage are reported almost daily. There appears to be plenty
of opportunity to treat TRD-AR patients.
Cab Rage
Following the successful treatment of TRD-AR, the Institute will move into the
area of treating travelers who fall victim of cab rage, or TRD-CR. These
patients are usually identified by dilated eyes and empty wallets due to riding
in taxis that sometimes approach the speed of sound on busy city streets and at
the same time manage to take the longest routes between departure and
destinations points. Treatment will typically require 72-hours exposure to Perry
Como or Montavani recordings.
Restaurant Rage
As the use of cell phones and
web-enabled Blackberrys by narcissists intrude on the conversations and casual
chit-chat of nearby diners, restaurant rage (TRD-RR) will become an increasingly common diagnosis. The prescription for TRD-RR,
by the way, is simple: Ask to be seated in the non-electronic
sections of restaurants.
(What?! There’s no legislation that requires restaurants to section off
non-electronic areas? Well there should be! It’s a damn shame! Those
self-important, trendy punks with their wireless devices oughta be strung up by
their t… Okay. Okay. Time out while I put on Montovani. Okay. I’m better now.
Okay.)
Hotel Rage
Finally the Institute will treat travelers like the businessman whose plight was
responsible for the Institute’s establishment: those who are pushed around by
hotels. These sufferers are easy to diagnose but much less easy to treat.
Associated symptoms of hotel rage (TRD-HR) include sleeplessness due to all-night parties in
nearby rooms, shoulder pain from schlepping luggage to the outer reaches of
hotel properties, and blistered skin from standing in showers as neighboring
toilets are flushed.
Though quite common, TRD-HR is the most difficult to treat
because often times there are few options available to the sufferer. (Express your dissatisfaction with
a registration clerk at a hotel in Las Vegas during the week of COMDEX, for
instance, and you’ll find yourself staying at a motel in Needles.)
Future Programs
The Institute will be adding other programs—some on an outpatient basis, others
requiring a 28-day residency—as it moves into the areas of treating TRD-KOP
(Kids On Planes), TRD-DRA (Doofus Reservation Agents), and—my favorite—TRD-STW
(Smart-ass Travel Writers). In the meantime, if you begin to experience any TRD symptom, put your cell phone on vibrate, fire
up your Blackberry and visit the Institute's new interactive
travel rage counseling site
before it's too late.
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