29 August 2006
DHS to bug U.S. hotels
Plot to kidnap Paris Hilton foiled
 WASHINGTON,
DC -- Reliable sources within the U.S. Department of Homeland Security
(DHS) have revealed a secret plan to install electronic listening
devices in tens of thousands of hotel guest rooms in the U.S. According
to those sources, the plan,
based on a similar operation that has been carried out by the Central
Intelligence Agency across Europe and the Middle East since 2002, has
passed the "proof-of-concept" and "limited test" phases and is expected to be
fully deployed early next year.
In pre-deployment phases the operation has already netted nearly 3600 culprits, including the
high profile case involving a scheme to kidnap Paris Hilton. According
to law enforcement officials close to that case, the would-be kidnappers
planned to free their hostage in exchange for the release of a dozen enemy
combatants held at the U.S. Marine base in Cuba.
In that sting, electronic listening devices had been installed in the
over 1200 hotel guest rooms for which Ms. Hilton had registered during
the year. Upon gathering information about the plot, agents moved in
swiftly to arrest four Peruvian men and two Lindsay Lohan fans shortly
after Ms. Hilton announced that her favorite drink is mixed with Parrot
Bay, her favorite tanning beach is on the shores of eBay and her
favorite Cuban song is Guantanamo Bay.
Code named BizBug, the DHS operation is intended to find and
"neutralize" business travelers who are involved in dealings that
jeopardize the security of the country, either through their direct actions or
through activities which support "enemies of the state."
When contacted by Travel Fox, John Uperstedt, Acting Interim Adjunct
Assistant Deputy Undersecretary for Public Affairs at the DHS, said, "The department can neither confirm nor deny the
existence of such an operation or any testing of such an operation or
the consequences to hotel guests of such testing."
Nevertheless, in a secret DHS interdepartmental memorandum that was made available to Travel Fox,
it was found that some travelers to Kansas City, the apparent test location for BizBug,
"have reported high-frequency chirping sounds emanating from smoke
detectors, interference with television reception while viewing adult
entertainment movies, and tingling sensations to 'certain body parts' while occupying
the commodes."
When asked about an unusually high number of reports by travelers to
Kansas City that their hotels rooms seemed to be occupied by poltergeists, Uperstedt
repeated his can-neither-confirm-nor-deny statement.
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