20 June 2004
Hotel group to rate service stations
Flushing out fragrant violations of restroom standards
GENEVA -- Traveller Hotel
Group (THG), operator of luxury resort and spa properties in North
America, Europe, and Asia, announced that beginning next year, it will
begin a rating system of service stations across the United States.
In a press release issued today, CEO Jean-Paul Chaphrau stated, "For
years the objective of every hotel manager of every one of our 435
properties has been to win a five-star rating from the Mobil Travel
Guide. This year 417 of those properties garnered four-star ratings, but
we have yet to earn a single five-star mark. We believe that there is
something fishy going on inside the oil company's rating system and that turn-about is fair play."
Among the items to be evaluated are:
 Weight, size,
and grade of wood block attached to the restroom key
Noise level of automatic flushing valves on
restroom toilets (the
more noise, the lower the score)
Noise level of restrooms fans (the
more noise, the higher the score)
Number and
misspellings and grammatical errors in graffiti on toilet stall doors
Water color in restroom sink
Paper towel thickness
for customer hand drying
Listening selection and volume of the radio in the service bay
Number of fan belts hanging from the fixtures
Number of used tires stacked by the refuse
receptacle
Intensity and persistence of odor of the attendant(s)
Number and sub-species of flies on the office window sill
Amount of grease and oil on repair bills
Artistic arrangement of key chains,
cigarette lighters, and Slim Jims by the cash register
Clearly alluding to the Michelin and the American Automobile
Association, Mr. Chaphrau added, "Depending upon how the program is
received by the motoring public, we may introduce ratings of tire
manufacturers and auto clubs."
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© 2004 Applied Psychology
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