13 November 2003
Hooters Air may be grounded
Heavy metal found in passenger compartments
ATLANTA, Ga. --
A secret probe by the FAA has found that Hooters Air has introduced heavy metal into the passenger compartments of its
airplanes.
According to sources close to the company, in water evacuation drills required for FAA certification,
the airline discovered that, while all of the trained flight attendants
aboard it airplanes were able to pass the test, many of the Hooters
Girls—they assist with hostess and food/beverage functions as allowed by
FAA regulations—were found to be
"super-buoyant." To correct for this extraordinary circumstance, the
airline contracted with a Coast Guard supplier of personal flotation
devices (PFDs) to manufacture lead-filled, buoyancy reduction accessories (BRAs) for
the affected personnel.
Testing showed that the BRAs could
successfully prevent submerged Hooters Girls from shooting to the
surface in what had been described in company records as, "sperm whales
broaching after a good feeding."
As a consequence, until the in-flight Hooters Girls can learn to successfully
slow their underwater ascents by themselves, the company has required
them to wear
training BRAs while on duty. Because the extra weight of the training
BRAs has added significantly to the fuel costs incurred by the airline,
lessons in controlled underwater assent for its flying Hooters Girls has
become a high priority. Toward that end, the company recently announced
an agreement with the Cousteau Society to provide consulting services.
All this comes at a difficult time for Hooters Air. It was only last
month that the fledgling airline ran into trouble with the introduction
of the Viagra martini on its flights. In what Dr. Steven Fritback,
business school professor at the
University of Chattanooga, called, "a classic case of over-marketing,"
Hooters Air soon reversed course and replaced the drink with the popular
"Hooters Shooter" cocktail.
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© 2003 Applied Psychology
UPDATE:
March, 2006 -- Travel Fox is saddened to learn that after only three
years in the business, Hooters Air is calling it quits. Too bad. Travel
Fox will miss Hooters Air. News of its endeavors have been the most
popular breaking travel news stories among our subscribers.
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