4 November 2003
TYCO Tours enters nude travel market
Former Tyco CEO to promote full corporate exposure
SARDINIA, ITALY -- Confident that they will be exonerated of allegations
of looting
$600 million from their previous company, former executives of Tyco
International Ltd. announced today the formation of a new tour company to be
based here. In a prepared statement delivered to the Italian press by
their attorneys, L. Dennis Kozlowski, former Tyco CEO, and Mark H.
Swartz, former Tyco CFO, said that their new company will specialize in
organizing tours to high-end naturalist destinations.
Sardinia was selected for the company headquarters because, as the
statement noted, "Mr. Kozlowski has fond memories of the
island where he once hosted a simple party for his wife." According to his personal butler,
"It was at that modest affair that Mr.
Kozlowski got the idea for this new venture."
It may have been at a "mooning" incident at that 2001 party
where Mr.
Kozlowski received his inspiration and could further explain why the new company has contracted with Mantra Films to produce a video advertising
campaign featuring Ken Lay and Bernie
Ebbers in the title roles of Executives Gone Wild.
The new company, called Take Your Clothes Off (TYCO) Tours
(a coincidental acronym that has no ties to Tyco International Ltd.)
will be headed by Barbara Jacques, another former Tyco employee who
shares Mr. Kozlowski's low-key lifestyle. In a telephone interview with
Ms. Jacques, she said, "TYCO Tours will provide corporate executives—at
least those who are not serving time—with an opportunity to get in touch
with nature and to reveal their true selves. 'Clothing optional' is just
adding another dimension to the meaning of 'options,' something that
corporate executives are already used to receiving in their bloated
compensation packages."
Adept at mixing business with leisure travel, the new business undertaking
nevertheless appears to be a turnaround for the leadership styles Messrs. Kozlowski and
Swartz, who have had years of experience in covering up, rather than
exposing, corporate
affairs.
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