5 September 2003
DHS agents abandon search for Martians
Hundreds recalled from Roswell
ROSWELL, N.M. -- Travel Fox has learned that the Department of
Homeland Security is recalling all agents it had secretly dispatched to
this small town southwest of Albuquerque.
According to reliable sources, agents from the DHS have, over the past
five months, slowly and surreptitiously been taking up residency
here with the objective of identifying as many as 5000 aliens from another
planet, who are still believed to be living in the area ever since the
first one arrived here in 1947.
It was discovered last week that an error in an order issued by Susan Naitram, the acting Director of Air Marshall Recruiting at DHS,
caused the agents to be directed to New Mexico instead of New Jersey.
Ms. Naitram is an avid amateur astronomer, who for the
past year has been swept up in the excitement in that community of the near-arrival of Mars.
Apparently the excitement of that event was on her mind this past April
when, in introducing a renewed campaign to
recruit air marshals, she issued instructions to her staff to
"recruit rare Martians."
No one questioned her order, and the error was uncovered only
when the General Accounting Office began an inquiry of the expense reports of nearly 150
agents who had set up housekeeping in and around Roswell.
Ms. Naitram resigned her post yesterday without comment.
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